I had a dream David Attenborough gave us a lecture on Sloths. Heaven! He was showing us numerous videos that I couldn't help but laugh at, whilst telling us all these wonderful things that had me in stitches. "The lead cause of death, other than natural causes or disease, for the common Sloth, is that they mistake their own arms for tree branches, therefore falling to their death." He also got me to demonstrate "Slothness", a physical state I invented where one simply "Sloths about". I find Sloths hilarious... and if you don't.. then you sir, are wrong.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JTAtsHh-yc - the sloths are coming.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba7rRfKIHxU - sloth crossing the road.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl_vom0T2tI - dramatic sloth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndMKTnSRsKM - the closest thing I'll get to my dream.
People also don't understand the hilariousness of Goats... so, allow me to educate you;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqgGlgonEa4
In addition, here, enjoy some cats, some dogs and well.. this thing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IytNBm8WA1c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64ULQCvz3BQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWtO0cfgewY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFT4OgFxfes
I had an epiphany earlier... for the perfect perfume adverts.
Picture this; a guy walks into a store. Your average Joe, wearing blue jeans and a zip jumper. He approaches the bottle, a slight glint shining off the spotless glass. He takes it in his hand, acknowledging the house hold name, admiring the sleek design of the bottle. He sprays it on his wrist, the water vapours enveloping his arm. He whiffs, and pauses for a moment, before opening his mouth to say in a South London accent; "Yeah that's nice that", and proceeding to put it in his basket. End.
Picture this; a fat guy and his fat wife enter that same store, again your average Joe's. He picks up the bottle as the last guy did, and sprays it on his wrist. He smells it, giving a nod of approval. He holds it up to his wife, wanting her opinion. She takes in the scent, and instantly becomes a busty bombshell in a bikini. She wraps her arm into his and says "darling let's take the private jet home, I want to make love to you for hours and hours". The fat, hairy, bald man turns to the camera and winks, as the caption "*Fragrance name* Buy it. This stuff happens." slowly appears on the screen.
Tattoo cravings are growing.. If I start on that I'll be here all night.
I have used my newly obtained knowledge in sports performance to form the perfect workout plan for me, but I'll be very tired. We'll see where it goes, but it will bulk me up a bit, strengthen all areas of my body, tone the areas slightly, whilst not affecting me sport wise. Nicceeeeeee :p. I also signed up to a level 2 personal training course. Soon I'll know even more and be able to help others a lot more. My tennis coaching, and uni course (including nutrition, physiology and biomechanics) will mean I may actually be fairly good at helping people.
CK
Saturday, 26 January 2013
Exams are over.
For now, exams are over. Finnnaaalllyyyyyyyyyyy.
I have the attention span of a tea spoon, and the general intelligence of the tea bag that goes into the mug... so exam time for me, rather stressful! I have to work and work and work like a trojan just to revise, and jesus, the number of distractions are unparalleled.
My PETP exam was piss realistically. I knew my stuff, and enjoyed the module. Anything less than a first and I'll be disappointed. There were only two questions on the paper I didn't really know, and I feel pretty good about it! My next exam was a day after, and it was the biggest load of bollocks any man has ever witnessed. "Study and Research methods" - basically the uni's way of saying "You do sport. You must be illiterate. Here, let us teach you how to write, how to read, how to reference... and oh yes Charlie! You get confused by numbers, let's include lots and lots of those for you!". Thinking that my 86.75% in the coursework (50% of the module), I assumed I had already got my 40% needed to pass, so I MAY have not looked at anything regarding the subject. The day before the exam, it surfaces that I need a pass in both coursework and exam. Fantastic. I had to pull an all-nighter, and tried to learn the entire module in one evening. After I sat the exam I believe I can say "yep... managed that"... I probably don't have a first, but a 2.1 wouldn't be too unrealistic. That was my last exam for the week soooo I went to my friends flat for a couple of beers before I planned on catching up on sleep. When I arrive, drinking occurs.. then heavier drinking... then before you know it.. I'm slowly walking back from the Forum (night club) with a couple of mates at 3am. Smooth move captain dipshit. However, one heart warming moment occurred that night. Me and a friend were sitting in his kitchen after having the usual philosophical debates started. We got onto how I'm lucky to have my girlfriend. I asked him "Why on earth do you think she's with me?" to which he swiftly replied, "with you you're always having fun. You could come home from a shit day and just be greeted by your ever-present smile, and just some weird bubbly energetic happy person." Those weren't his exact words of course, but you get the picture. That made me feel amazing, and I was struck for words. All I managed to say was "cheers buddy" and grinned stupidly. #LoveYouMan
The Friday of that week was my friends birthday, and he kindly gave me a ticket for the Forum. I felt like going hyper, and with my body's response to sugar... well, that wouldn't require much effort :p... A few sugary drinks later and I was running laps of the building. Charging into everyone's kitchens, jumping over things and I was physically incapable of standing still. I also was drinking sufficient amounts of alcohol, and to my knowledge left a fair few phone messages, speaking like a man jacked up on coffee, sugar, speed and ecstasy. I had a great night, feeling like sprinting until I collapsed.
Monday meant Physiology, and I was quietly confident. I had put in the work, and had basically done all I could do. Oh my, I couldn't have been more wrong! It was awful awful awful. I had to take a blind stab at a good third of the paper, and guess to a lesser degree to another third. the realisation that you've wasted many many hours pointlessly reading crap you are not interested in is not a good place to be. Fifa was the rest of my day and night. On Thursday I had a practical exam in Anatomy. Again, I'd put in the work and was quietly confident. However, this exam was marked then and there, just me and an examiner. The pressure really is on, and one slip up could cost you a lot. You only have a short time (15 minutes) to do this exam (making up 20% of the module grade) so nerves come into play a lot. I got my mark back on Friday for it, and I got 90%. Hell yeah!
On the Thursday, to celebrate the end of exams, I went over to my friends for a couple of beers and maybe some Fifa or a couple films. Instead, I once more got talked into going out, this time to Batchwood... a club I shall never be going back to. It was genuinely horrible. A bad crowd of people (apart from those I went with and knew from my course), the kind of people who go out looking for trouble; 20 minutes waiting at the bar to get a beer, a further 20 minutes waiting for a Jager bomb that was the stingiest serving I'd ever had, a dance floor to small to dance, and just a general bad night. I was glad to leave, and even happier to see my bed. This joy was short lived, as I couldn't sleep, so I had another beer and watched Ted. Next thing I knew it was 6 o clock, and I had a lecture at 9. No point sleeping... what is life?
That's all for now folks... now I can go back to spontaneous evenings out and generally just enjoying myself! It's good to not have any pressure on me again, and I have a feeling this year will only continue to get better!
Oh yeah!!! I have my girlfriend at uni again in March, so no doubt I'll be happier than anyone else for that period of time, and me and course friends have put the deposit down on a house for next year. Oh god what on earth will happen in that house.
CK
I have the attention span of a tea spoon, and the general intelligence of the tea bag that goes into the mug... so exam time for me, rather stressful! I have to work and work and work like a trojan just to revise, and jesus, the number of distractions are unparalleled.
My PETP exam was piss realistically. I knew my stuff, and enjoyed the module. Anything less than a first and I'll be disappointed. There were only two questions on the paper I didn't really know, and I feel pretty good about it! My next exam was a day after, and it was the biggest load of bollocks any man has ever witnessed. "Study and Research methods" - basically the uni's way of saying "You do sport. You must be illiterate. Here, let us teach you how to write, how to read, how to reference... and oh yes Charlie! You get confused by numbers, let's include lots and lots of those for you!". Thinking that my 86.75% in the coursework (50% of the module), I assumed I had already got my 40% needed to pass, so I MAY have not looked at anything regarding the subject. The day before the exam, it surfaces that I need a pass in both coursework and exam. Fantastic. I had to pull an all-nighter, and tried to learn the entire module in one evening. After I sat the exam I believe I can say "yep... managed that"... I probably don't have a first, but a 2.1 wouldn't be too unrealistic. That was my last exam for the week soooo I went to my friends flat for a couple of beers before I planned on catching up on sleep. When I arrive, drinking occurs.. then heavier drinking... then before you know it.. I'm slowly walking back from the Forum (night club) with a couple of mates at 3am. Smooth move captain dipshit. However, one heart warming moment occurred that night. Me and a friend were sitting in his kitchen after having the usual philosophical debates started. We got onto how I'm lucky to have my girlfriend. I asked him "Why on earth do you think she's with me?" to which he swiftly replied, "with you you're always having fun. You could come home from a shit day and just be greeted by your ever-present smile, and just some weird bubbly energetic happy person." Those weren't his exact words of course, but you get the picture. That made me feel amazing, and I was struck for words. All I managed to say was "cheers buddy" and grinned stupidly. #LoveYouMan
The Friday of that week was my friends birthday, and he kindly gave me a ticket for the Forum. I felt like going hyper, and with my body's response to sugar... well, that wouldn't require much effort :p... A few sugary drinks later and I was running laps of the building. Charging into everyone's kitchens, jumping over things and I was physically incapable of standing still. I also was drinking sufficient amounts of alcohol, and to my knowledge left a fair few phone messages, speaking like a man jacked up on coffee, sugar, speed and ecstasy. I had a great night, feeling like sprinting until I collapsed.
Monday meant Physiology, and I was quietly confident. I had put in the work, and had basically done all I could do. Oh my, I couldn't have been more wrong! It was awful awful awful. I had to take a blind stab at a good third of the paper, and guess to a lesser degree to another third. the realisation that you've wasted many many hours pointlessly reading crap you are not interested in is not a good place to be. Fifa was the rest of my day and night. On Thursday I had a practical exam in Anatomy. Again, I'd put in the work and was quietly confident. However, this exam was marked then and there, just me and an examiner. The pressure really is on, and one slip up could cost you a lot. You only have a short time (15 minutes) to do this exam (making up 20% of the module grade) so nerves come into play a lot. I got my mark back on Friday for it, and I got 90%. Hell yeah!
On the Thursday, to celebrate the end of exams, I went over to my friends for a couple of beers and maybe some Fifa or a couple films. Instead, I once more got talked into going out, this time to Batchwood... a club I shall never be going back to. It was genuinely horrible. A bad crowd of people (apart from those I went with and knew from my course), the kind of people who go out looking for trouble; 20 minutes waiting at the bar to get a beer, a further 20 minutes waiting for a Jager bomb that was the stingiest serving I'd ever had, a dance floor to small to dance, and just a general bad night. I was glad to leave, and even happier to see my bed. This joy was short lived, as I couldn't sleep, so I had another beer and watched Ted. Next thing I knew it was 6 o clock, and I had a lecture at 9. No point sleeping... what is life?
That's all for now folks... now I can go back to spontaneous evenings out and generally just enjoying myself! It's good to not have any pressure on me again, and I have a feeling this year will only continue to get better!
Oh yeah!!! I have my girlfriend at uni again in March, so no doubt I'll be happier than anyone else for that period of time, and me and course friends have put the deposit down on a house for next year. Oh god what on earth will happen in that house.
CK
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